how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
