I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
