And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
