I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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