i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
