when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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