youre lurking in front of me
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
