She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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