Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
