wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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