Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
