What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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