Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
