today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
