We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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