Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
