i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize