so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
