She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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