chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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