i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
