dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
