dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
