i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
