That's when you crack a 10am beer
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
