Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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