Your face is a jimmy john
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
