He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
