yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
