I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The uberlube is also flammable
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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