overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
