He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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