How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize