he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
