that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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