So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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