I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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