summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
