First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
