so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
