connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
