I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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