dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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