I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize