Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize