Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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