Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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