I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
