Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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