Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I enjoy the company of your penis
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
