Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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