Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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