I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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