You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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