party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
