need another drink. this is the easiest way
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
