Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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