I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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