So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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