what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
