If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
