THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize